End of the semester for the most part. Don't know what to reflect on, truthfully. Nothing is like it was and nothing is going as I expected. Guess that's why a friend of mine is big on "no expectations". I'm a bit more bitter and cynical than I would like to be. Not too proud of that or any of the fracturing relationships and isolation that took place. But what can you do? Blog about it, lazily wait behind a monitor, hoping that the best falls into my lap similar to how the worst did? Neh. Not me. I plan to try to forget the view from here and seek out more promising verandas. And for more online classes. But I'm on the fence about that currently. Can't decide whether I'm more unsatisfied with social anxiety or craning my neck to look at my laptop screen. I suppose both are personal problems that I should surpass though. Smough. Smaug. Smug. Dadgummit. I done lost the top to my 20 fluid ounce soda cola. Reflecting on that, I should have been more careful. Reflecting on the last few months, I could have been more careful. Reflecting on everything, I tried my best and I need to accept that sometimes no amount of precaution can prevent life from unwillingly sodomizing you. Not sure if there's a willing part to that but I figure we all get the gist. Writing these journals has been curiously liberating, and I feel dumb saying that again. I don't know why I enjoy nonsensical ramblings or always going off topic. I'm probably a pain to read, that is if anyone ever reads these. I think I was trying to be optimistic and talk of progress early but then I got distracted. I should squash that habit. I don't need to be so long winded and stray from the path. Be precise. Be concise. Be aware. Be moderate.
Die young, die dumb; but not soon.
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